” Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. ”
– Erica Jong

Prior to asking for advice, most people have their minds already made up about what they should do or should not do. What they are really looking for is reinforcement on their unspoken standpoint. This is why, at times, others get defensive about our advice; it conflicts with their preset point of view.

Let’s save our time and effort. When people ask us for advice, let’s not give it to them. Afterall, they are not looking for it. Instead, redirect their ‘searching – for – advice’ question back to them, “What do YOU think about that?” Many times, they already know the answer and happily will give it to us.

Sometimes, people just actually want you to LISTEN to their problem and will feel that you have failed them when you give advice instead of listening!

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. So, please listen and just hear me.

“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak”
– Epictetus

Hold on to this, usually people who are discouraged and want to seek “advice” are thinking mainly about one thing – “THEMSELVES”

So, the next time you wanna give advice, take a deep breathe and do the needful.

So please advice me, should I go to work today?

Salmah Adetutu Lawal