For any woman, parenting starts from knowing why you want to be a parent – a vision. This informs your choice of spouse. Parenting starts with choosing a good spouse.
Choices may be right or wrong depending on experience, if you choose wrong, your vision tells you and you also owe it to your children to take another good decision – try everything you can to make it work or leave.
Again, do not lose focus…of your vision. A seemingly small decision can destroy it.
I’ld like to use a personal experience to explain this.
My vision is to make heaven with my family irrespective of my dream here on earth. This led me to choosing a young man that we started together from the scratch. Along the line, i noticed that we were not on the same vision plane…i sacrificed psycologically, emotionally and financially. His first attempt at being violent was intense, this wasn’t part of the plan as it does not key into the vision. I wanted to still stay but my three year old son at the time informed my decision – i left the marriage with two other little babies of just 2 years and the other just 5 months old. That was 11 years ago.
My vision and my good relationship with God has kept me going.
I take every decision with that vision in mind and because i know that some decisions that i have taken may alter my vision, i was prepared to SACRIFICE. I have sacrificed friendship, work/business opportunities et al….as long as my goal is achieved as inspired by my vision.
I cringe when i hear some women give excuses for not performing their roles well,..top of which is the fact that they are also the providers as one irresponsible man has left his own duty for them to carry so there is no TIME to nurture well or that they are feminists and need to FIGHT for their rights. What rights are you talking about?
No! Do not be like that. Your children are the ones who will eventually pay for it.
Now, to the matter at hand…Mothers, let’s remember that we are the nuturers. Whatever life throws at us, we must never lose grip of that duty. No one! I mean, Nobody, can play that role for us as long as we are alive.
Someone failed that little girl, her nurturer.
I have read different people’s opinion about the situation, someone who has his own children even called the little girl a pornstar. Hmmm…
It is sad that this has happened to the girl, but i assure you that it is still happening to another girl somewhere… This little girl’s future can still be salvaged with good support, guide and attention. My point is to stop this from happening to another child soon.
Mothers, take charge of your core duties and leave irrelevances. Stop pursuing unnecessary endeavors. Concentrate on your parenting vision whether you have support or not. God knows your story. Do not make your situation an excuse to fail your children.
A leaf never falls off its tree without God’s consent. He will suffice for you. Just play your own part – NURTURE and do this well.
To be continued…
Salmah Adetutu Lawal